Can You Watch My Laptop for a Second?
Real, normal New Yorkers respond
A recent opinion column published in NBC News is causing controversy on Twitter. It comes out against the practice of asking strangers to watch over your laptop in a cafe while you run to the bathroom, saying, “Asking a stranger to watch your laptop while you go to the bathroom when it really isn’t a necessity is both [irrational and disruptive], and it needs to stop.”
To test out how people really feel about being tapped to keep watch over a stranger’s laptop, I asked eight real and normal New Yorkers and recorded their responses.
We talking number one or number two?
-Lexi, 25, Bushwick
No. Why would I do something like that?
-Mark, 29, Chelsea
Sorry man, but I’m not gay.
-Daniel, 31, Williamsburg
Oh! Yeah, sure thing. Hey, real quick, what made you choose me?
-Preston, 27, Bushwick
I guess, but I have a lot of rage and can’t guarantee the thief’s survival. Don’t ask me to do this if that’s the sort of thing that will hang over your head for the rest of your life. I’ll be fine either way. I haven’t felt guilt since the Obama Administration.
-Andrea, 30, Bed-Stuy
Did it occur to you that I might be a recovering kleptomaniac? Do you think because I’m white I’m inherently trustworthy and couldn’t possibly steal your shit? Keep telling on yourself.
-Nicholas, 33, Hell’s Kitchen
How did you get into my house?
-Belinda, 29, Greenpoint
I will protect with my life your 2015 MacBook Air. I will protect it with every last ounce of strength in every last sinew in my body. I swear to you that no harm will befall your property so long as I keep watch over it. I will not forgive any would-be bandit who would dare lay a finger on your laptop and will put on the full armor of God to retaliate against those who would attempt such a thing. The last thing they see will be my face, I can promise you that.
-Garrett, 31, Park Slope