Judith...?
RHONY, recapped and reviewed
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I was torn, when writing the headline for this recap, between “Judith…?” and “Jessel’s Hag Race.” Either way, they allude to some wins from former Flopville resident Jessel Taank, who has defied the odds and become one of my favorites. Yes, after seven episodes, we are finally getting a true sense of these women’s personalities and of their group dynamic. In that process, some first impressions have been subverted, while others have proven more astute.
On the “astute” side of things is Erin Lichy, who I clocked as that uptight friend who “talks a lot about being down-to-earth but will send you a multi-paragraph text at 1 a.m. asking why your vibes were off at Bubba Gump Shrimp Co.” And, boy, Erin Lichy was typing this episode.
We’ll get to that. But first, let’s dive in and join Jenna Lyons and Sai De Silva at one of Jenna’s casting call events for her lashes line. While interviewing models for the shoot, Jenna does a “very me” thing and tells a total stranger something intimate that she’s never told any of her close friends. Jenna, she tells one of the models, is not her real name. Her real name is Judith, and when asked in class if she had a nickname, she went with the first thing that came to mind: Jenna, because her brother would call her Jenna-Jenna-Jenna-talia.
Sai is beside (be-Sai’d) herself upon receiving this new information and makes a big deal about how great it is that Jenna is finally confiding in her friends and opening up, though it must be stressed that Jenna aimed this anecdote at some person she does not know and not at Sai. Whatever. We take those, I guess. Just remember that this is Jenna’s personal story and not Sai’s. It will come up later.
The meat of the episode is Erin’s reaction to her husband Abe recounting Brynn’s behavior at her boring anniversary party. Erin was already miffed at Sai for dipping out early without saying goodbye to go eat at Nobu, but she’s further incensed that Brynn cracked some jokes to her husband about getting divorced. Oh, and Erin’s sister had to shush her! Really, everyone was betraying Erin at this table-less anniversary party in a cavernous marble forum where all her friends from high school gave twenty-minute speeches about love.
Wait, speaking of Brynn, Gideon? Gideon? We are briefly introduced to Brynn’s ex-fiancé who, as one of my friends put it, is a Hugh Grant character. He’s wealthy, handsome, has a British accent and swoopy Disney prince hair, and is head over heels for Brynn. Now, far be it from me to tell a woman what to do with her life. But, girl… I’m just saying, there is a future available to you where you don’t have to make sexy moaning noises while doing kettlebell swings on a television program where your whole thing is flirting with everything that moves. It’s available!
Anyway, the selected battlefield for Erin vs. the world is a holiday wreath-making party with sad avocado toast and nasty french fries. This is Brynn’s little get-together, but the bad food is nonetheless associated with Erin, somehow. It’s also here where Sai decides to share Jenna’s Jenna-Jenna-Jenna-talia story, even though it is not hers to share. Seriously, what? Jenna looked so uncomfortable the whole time. It did, however, give us my favorite line of the whole season so far.
“Judith…?” Jessel says, as if it’s a particularly potent slur that hasn’t been in popular usage for decades. I don’t know what it is about her delivery that sent me into orbit. She’s repulsed. Shocked. Disgusted. But there’s something else in there too. It’s like… heartbreak. They really did that to you? To my friend? Judith…? I recorded it because I love it and have played it dozens of times.
Anywho, sinister music plays as Erin walks in. “Darth Vader’s here,” one of the Housewives says, and indeed, Erin stepped into the holiday wreath-making event mad as hell. She sits and stews for a bit before unleashing Force lightning on everyone, accusing Brynn of flirting with her husband (in her conversation with Abe, she is aghast that Brynn might have done this in front of her children, heaven forbid) and accusing Sai of having bad manners.
Everyone sort of collectively shrugs. Sai says she doesn’t care and Brynn says her party was boring. Erin storms out, having not completed her wreath. Jenna gives everyone a bunch of gifts, which Sai and Brynn take issue with because, in Brynn’s words, “gifts in bulk… it’s a little weird.” If this is true, then I wish weird things would happen to me more often. Sai doesn’t like that the gifts are collaborations and thinks they come with an ulterior motive to get her to share them on social media. This is the level of delusion I aspire to. Yes, Jenna Fucking Lyons needs me to put up an Instagram story about a gift she gave me. So true.
And now it’s time for the power rankings. I must stress, this is not a list of “who I like the most.” It is a vaguely organized list, arranged by individual performance in the episode and by “who is giving John Paul Brammer content,” a criteria that matters a lot to me, personally.
Ubah Hassan
“I’m so over it. Like, people being sick.” - Jenna Lyons, and me.
Sai De Silva
When I was first introduced to Sai, I really wanted to like her, and I think I was looking really hard for things to glom onto. But, man, she was off-putting this episode. She shared Jenna’s personal story with the group, complained about Brynn’s festive little event, and kind of cemented her status as someone who nitpicks everything to death after her reaction to Jenna’s gifts. I still love her confessional bob.
Jenna Lyons
Judith (Butler) Fucking Lyons. Legend! Icon. Though I must admit, despite being irritated by Sai’s behavior, I did thoroughly enjoy watching Jenna’s face as Sai announced her “Jenna-talia” story to the world. Jenna still seems a bit unaware of what she signed up for with this show, and as her face went completely blank you could just see the “Why is this happening? What am I doing? Who are these people?” thoughts swimming around her head.
Brynn Whitfield
Brynn… Brynn. You know I love you. Obsessed, really! But I do think we need to dial it back a bit. Yes, Erin is wound up like a 10-day-clock, but you did kind of show up in sunglasses to her party and make maybe one too many jokes about divorce to her husband while she wasn’t around. Maybe next time you can bring Gideon to the function. I would love more screen time for Gideon. I would love to hear Gideon’s voice again. I want an audiobook narrated by Gideon that I can listen to at midnight as I lie my body down to sleep. Think about it! Think about it.
Erin Lichy
Yes, good. Let the hate flow through you. There were pigs in a blanket at my anniversary party.
Jessel Taank
It just goes to show that if you commit to being a wackadoodle on national television, at least one gay guy in Brooklyn will start calling you iconic. I salute you, mother. “Judith” will henceforth be a permanent part of my internal monologue.
That’s all from me this week. See you next time, when maybe Ubah will show up! I really look forward to that. Erin is wearing a parrot costume in the preview, so that should hold something for me as well.