Should I Keep My Smut a Secret?
Papi, maybe my partner doesn't need to know about my hobby
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¡Hola Papi!
I'm a gay guy who has been with my partner for almost two decades now. When we met, he knew I wrote smut and erotica in my spare time, and even read some. It wasn't his thing, though, and I think he thought it was all a bit silly.
Since then, I've kept writing on and off. A small publisher released a couple of my books for a while, then shut down. Last year, I self-published a few more. I've made a little money from it—a few thousand dollars total, perhaps—so it's not like I'm going to quit my day job any time soon, but I find the whole process to be a nice distraction.
During COVID, I wrote a romance novel, and the beta readers who've read it have suggested it could be worth shopping around to agents or larger publishers. I'm not holding out any particular hope of grand success, but it's also been a reminder that my partner is still unaware of what is basically my longest-running hobby. I feel dishonest.
Some people I know IRL are aware that I write, but it's not something I generally advertise (I release stuff under a pseudonym). It would be nice to have my partner's support, but I also worry he'll either think I'm being ridiculous for clinging to an old pastime, or—worse—see it as a betrayal of some sort, because I'm writing about fictional guys.
Maybe he has secret hobbies too, and I'm overthinking how much we have to share. Or am I being unfair by not telling him about my writing?
Yours,
Secretly Smutty
Hey there, SS!
Wow, two decades? Twenty years? 7,300 days? I have to wonder what kind of smut you could possibly be writing that runs the risk of toppling such a sturdy foundation. I am imagining weapons-grade erotica. I am imagining you publishing the War and Peace of the genre. “What did it cost you?” a fan will ask at the packed public reading event. You will toss a cigarette to the ground and stamp it out with your foot on stage. “Everything.” Uproarious applause.
Anyway.