"Developing a low opinion of yourself and being extremely self-critical to the point of paranoia feels productive, like a preemptive strike: I can avoid being abandoned if I can avoid doing anything wrong."
Ooh, that's too close to home for me! I've been in therapy for eight years and unlearning a lot of that.
Great letter and post. I totally identify. When I read Papi say people go out of their way to critique his work I am surprised. Who doesn't see how great it is!? I think this is instructive. for all the people who don't like us or what we do there are those who are also thinking "this person is amazing and I'm glad they are doing their thing in the world."
In the past I wanted people to like me even if I didn’t like them so, I can relate. As I’m older now, I can see that it made people think I was a better person than I actually was. That was a revelation to me, but I accept it because I am a good person anyway. I still like to be of service to others but, now I am more authentic. I’m not as bend over backwards to just anyone now. I don’t care anymore if I am not liked by everyone, but I do like myself enough now to not need it from everyone anymore.
"Developing a low opinion of yourself and being extremely self-critical to the point of paranoia feels productive, like a preemptive strike: I can avoid being abandoned if I can avoid doing anything wrong."
Ooh, that's too close to home for me! I've been in therapy for eight years and unlearning a lot of that.
Great letter and post. I totally identify. When I read Papi say people go out of their way to critique his work I am surprised. Who doesn't see how great it is!? I think this is instructive. for all the people who don't like us or what we do there are those who are also thinking "this person is amazing and I'm glad they are doing their thing in the world."
In the past I wanted people to like me even if I didn’t like them so, I can relate. As I’m older now, I can see that it made people think I was a better person than I actually was. That was a revelation to me, but I accept it because I am a good person anyway. I still like to be of service to others but, now I am more authentic. I’m not as bend over backwards to just anyone now. I don’t care anymore if I am not liked by everyone, but I do like myself enough now to not need it from everyone anymore.