Hola, B&B and Papi. Thanks for giving an old gay man a big smile!

From my ancient perspective, gay men live in an environment that requires us to constantly admire our beautiful bodies one day and cringe the next. I sympathize with B&B's "receding confidence." It will be short-lived. Tomorrow, you will laugh at your ego for allowing you to focus on the negatives of baldness. The positives will rise. Your mirror will reflect all kinds of worrisome, hideous pimples-of-the moment as long as that's what you're looking for. Look beyond ... be open to projecting your happy heart everywhere! That's what will attract the people you want to live with and enjoy life with forever.

After 79 years of strutting my stuff as what Papi tagged as "criminally handsome," my dentist

removed my beautiful, big smile. I'm told the new teeth look great. But, I can't get over how they destroyed my original smile. Celebrated my 80th birthday with a grand fiesta here in Oaxaca last August. The photos from that night reflect my happy heart. And a palapa full of happy hearts who love me for all that I am. Not my old Hollywood smile!

My advice: Tell your ego to shove it! Be happy you are who you are. I'm reminded of my first Pride Parade in San Francisco. There was a crowd roar from blocks away for an old

convertible approaching. A funny-looking, skinny Jewish guy wearing a white t-shirt and waving a clump of daisies was standing in the convertible. The roar was deafening when he got in front of us. What I saw and felt was infectious charisma. He projected his happy heart to me, the roaring crowd, and the world. Harvey Milk was happy being who he was. XOXO

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Hi B&B! I am a cis queer lady who is also balding, ultimately from the same root cause you are: androgens! I have polycystic ovarian syndrome, which is caused my body producing more androgens than the average cis woman. Since March my own hair loss has gotten much worse, I think due to a combo of the above mentioned hormone disorder, pandemic stress, and hypothyroidism. I sympathize so much with what you're going through. It is absolutely a blow and a hard adjustment.

I think what has helped me the most through these last months that I've been trying to come to terms with it is trying to really embrace it in a radical acceptance sort of way. There are a lot of ways I don't fit in to being the idealized woman. I'm tall, I'm fat, my reproductive system is a trash bag so all that wife and mother stuff I was never built for (sound familiar?). The mold was just not going to fit me, ever. And there is comfort in that, right? Like, by you being your true self, you've I hope found a community who accepts you and supports you the way YOU really are. They are able to love the real you, and that love feels so much more authentic and nourishing because they are loving you as an out trans person. Not the you that tried to fit in the "normal" box, but the real you. I try to look at my baldness in the same way as my queer identity, my fatness, etc.--the things that don't fit the mold. It's true I don't fit the standard. But the folks that see all the ways I'm different and love me anyway? That's what I want. In that way I think the ways we are different protect us. If they weed out the people who would judge us for those things, all the better. You don't have to deal with assholes and it makes room for the ones who will truly love you in the way you deserve.

Best of luck and lots of hugs. You've got this. <3

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Hi BB and Papi!! Just wanted to say that one of the hottest guys I ever dated was bald at the age of 24. Being bald is h a w t. I am not a man so maybe my opinion doesn't carry much weight here, but I am queer who also loves men. I have hope you will find a sweetie who adores you! All my love to you ♥️

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Strictly FWIW.

I am losing hair, I think from a new medication, and I've just started using something I've seen work on horses (yes) to make hair grow back faster and thicker: M-T-G. (It's a stupid acronym I won't dignify with a response.) It's basically mineral oil and sulfur. It smells terrible. It takes a few shampooings to get out the greasiness. I don't know yet if it'll help. No idea if the processes that cause balding are immune to it. Probably one should try it on a patch first in case of adverse reaction. But it's affordable and like I said, I've seen it work. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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