I agree with Papi. It’s never too late to look for the good things in life, such as love. I think that 30 is still young and actually the thirties are a great decade. It’s time for you to do the things that make you happy while being young enough to work hard and prepare for the golden years, which our bodies forget are the golden years. They don’t move the way we imagined they would. You want what we all want, to be in a relationship that is good enough for the long haul. No relationship is perfect. This is something that I have had to learn over the 42 years that I have been married to a very good man of whom I can check most, but not all of the boxes of my imagined perfect relationship being a “child” of divorce.

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Never give up. Be you.

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Love simplicity; "Be you".

There's so much out there to see and do.

At 63, I had many flash backs of " close encounters of the 3rd kind" or " Six degrees of separation". I'm so glad I had those love affairs, I'm so glad I had those hook ups ( still do but with quality as a priority). At 30yo, I was riding my bike through Golden Gate Park seeing the beauty, in awe it had to offer me/ us.

"Meet up" comes to mind, years back I joined Gay men's group for " movie nite" very fun. I joined "Different spokes-LGBTQ cycling group and we explore the Bay Area in bikes, dinners, gatherings, etc.

So much to do.... don't stop enjoying.

Thanks Papi, your column intrigues me and I enjoy.

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I think the focus on being in *a* relationship can sometimes make it harder to find the *right* relationship. If someone ghosts you or turns you down, they’re not right for you (just as much as you weren’t right for them). Too often, my friends leave dates or text exchanges wondering if they were right for the guy, without even asking themselves if the guy was right for them.

This kind of orientation to the world is very understandable and hard to shift, but I think, so far, it’s the number one reason I’ve seen that someone who is otherwise a catch (i.e. not in need of a lot of therapy before being ready for responsible intimacy) either can’t find someone or keeps finding someones who are not right.

If you go into every potentially romantic encounter with curiosity, ready to get to know the person and see if they seem right for you, you won’t worry about being ghosted because you’ll know on the first date that the person isn’t a match. You’ll also start to get to know yourself better and be kinder to yourself, which will, in turn, set you up to be a better partner when you do find the right someone.

Which, by the way, you still have plenty of time to do! (I still have never put up my own Christmas tree, and I’m 38 years old, so kudos on achieving that particular milestone earlier than many!)

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